GRIEF

Everyone grieves in different ways, Some at night and others in the day. I am grieving three different things, The past, the present, and what the future brings. I will start with the past, I look back at with despair For I simply do not recognise, the woman I see there My head is full of sorrow, for the girl that I once knew I miss everything about that life, and there is nothing I can do But at least this life is captured, in photos for all to see Memories to treasure, of an lost life, that is me While they are hard to look at, and may cause a tear At least they are a reminder, of days when I was here. Next we have the present, when I'm filled with grief each day No matter how hard I try, this grief won't go away Everything reminds me, of things I cannot do, Feeling my decline, watching loved ones suffer too I sit and watch my husband, who I love so much,. I wish that things were normal, and long to feel his touch! Birthdays and Christmas, should be filled with cheer. There is no chance of that, when MND is here. When people come and see me, and tell me where they've been, Holidays and day trips, and shows that they have seen. I try and not be jealous, but it's killing me inside. It's really hard to hear, and sometimes I want to hide. By far the last grief, is the hardest kind For it looks into the future at a life I left behind I planned to grow old with Steve, love, cherish him and care, For my head and heart its torture, knowing it wont be me who's there! We love being together, in each and every way MND has robbed us, and taken it away My to do list, is full of things I'll never do, Dreamy destinations, and exploring places new. I think about my kids, and key events that I won't know I'm thinking of grandkids, and how I'll never watch them grow! I really don't deserve this, and life is just not fair. When the kids get married, I simply should be there! I should be looking after, my Mum as she grows old! But the roles reversed, so that's a tale that won't be told. So whilst all grief is constant , and never goes away. I have learnt to live with it, each and every day.