CHECKOUT

I'm ready to checkout, of the MND Hotel, Needless to say, my stay did not go very well. I'm going to a place where there is no MND, So once again, my body will be free. I can't quite believe, that I stayed for so long, Through the pain and tears, who knew I was so strong. End stage MND, is more brutal than before, Can it get more evil? Yes it can for sure! I can cope with not moving, and losing my voice, Not eating or drinking, I don't have a choice. But the changes I have lately, are scarier than before, I don't think I will cope, with brutal MND much more! My eyes are getting weaker, and I am struggling to type, They constantly water, tears sting with quite a bite. Saliva is thick and sticky, deep suctioning all day, Nothing seems to work now, to keep the beast at bay. My lungs are not so good now, and getting rather weak, I thought I'd got away with that, I guess I'm not unique! A nighttime NIV mask is needed, to get carbon dioxide out, I really don't want it, I want to scream and shout. It's not as straightforward, as putting the mask on, There are other factors, that simply can't go wrong! I communicate with eye gaze, and the mask blocks my view, Adjustments must be done, so emergency messages go through. I have to wear a nasal type, so saliva doesn't fill the mask, I am not a nose breather, so that's another task. The mask has to be on right, that's another must, My useless arms don't work, and are unable to adjust. Another obstacle, is I slide down the bed, I should wake up straight, but I'm hunched instead. I sleep on hoist sling, as hard to get off and on, I'm worried when I slide, the mask will go all wrong. I will have a go of course, as quitting is not my thing, How long will I last? How longs a piece of string? There is another option, and avoid the extra stress, To let nature take it's course, I sometimes wonder, is that best. I am not really bothered now, and I know that sounds tough, But MND is brutal, and I have had enough. So in case you don't know, I'm end stage MND right now, Lights, camera, action. As I take my final bow.